explanations
by HappyNoddleGirl666
Summary: this just my point of view, not saying it true wish it was this two parter explans why Pip disappeared and latter why he was so stupid to face mega-streisand and it also explans why you can see damien in the background sometimes
1. Chapter 1

**I do not own south park or any of the character, all ownership of this cartoon belongs to matt stone and trey parker**

The cold April air breezed through the entire baseball stadium. The blonde could smell the sweet aroma of freshly made food as he briskly walked past the open drink and snack stands on his way to the main entrance. He was just a few feet away from the double doors to freedom, away from all these obnoxious, druken, cheering baseball fans and the cruel kids that had shund him for the last time! That was the last straw; he wouldn't let his peers beat him up or push him around anymore! He had been through alot since he moved to this god forsaken town but to give him false hope like that is just plain harsh.

The brit vows to just be himself and not who the assholes around him want him to he would stand up for himself, not just wait for things to get better.

He frowned when he reached out too open one of the doors when someone jumped in front of him.

Nothing could make his day any worse. Well, almost nothing.

A sullen looking boy with jet black hair dressed in an all black attire was staring back at the blonde with unhuman blood red eyes.

the boy in front of him was his age and was the same size as him but Pip was looking at him as if he were five times his size.

"...Damien." He managed to say. The dark boy grined, showing to small fangs.

Pip was terrified at first to see his ex-friend who almost killed him last year at Eric Cartman's birthday but then he remember his vow.

He glared hatefully at Damien then turned and started to walk away to find a another exit.

This action took Damien aback; no one has _ever_ turned their back to him. Ever. No one ever had the balls too! He was just as surprise as he was pissed off.

"Hey, get back here!" He yelled. His voice was still very high and didn't fit his personality at all. And it squeaked when he raised his voice.

Pip, who was already half way down the hall turned to face the dark boy. Damien smirked at what he thought was Pip's obedience. But instead of coming back he took a step closer and fliped Damien the bird. Then he continued walking away. Damien's jaw droped. No one disrespects him like that. No one!

He sprinted down the hall to catch up with the blonde. Pip glanced back and noticed the pissed off anti-christ running after him. Fear surged through the brits body, he felt the need to scream which he did and ran for his life down the hall. After almost falling down a flight of stairs he made it back to the seating part of the stadium where people were either cheering or booing.

The blonde brit bent over with his hands on his knees, panting.

Finally catching up with Pip, the demon tackled the brit to the ground with a heavy thud.

"Get off me!" Pip shouts while trying to swing at the boy on top of him. Damien was getting even more frustrated trying to hold the struggling blonde down. Who knew the kid could put up such a fight.

They were in this position for a while and no one seemed to have noticed. Suddenly, the whole stadium went silent when the jumbo screen changed from a normal advertisment to a staticy frame.

After a second, the screen finally cleared up and the image of a young blonde boy wearing a mask/helmet, gloves and boots made out of aluminum foil and a green cape.

"People of Earth! Your meaningless lives are about to end!" That surly made every head in the stadium turn. Even Damien and Pip stoped fighting and looked up at the screen.

"I am Professor Chaos," He introduced himself as a smaller boy with ginger red hair and freckles also wearing an entire outfit made out of aluminum foil and around the rims of his glasses came into veiw. "and this is my partner ih-in evil, General Disarray!" Professor Chaos said gestering twords the smaller boy.

People in the stadium extranged glances. Was this just one of the things they used for entertaining people at baseball games like the kiss cam or something?

But that thought was thrown away when they saw that the players themselfs stoped to see what was going on.

The blonde boy started talking again."In the past few days I have rained terror down upon the society that shunned me! And now it is time for my Labor of Lonely! I am going to... flood... the world!"

Everyone gasped in horror and started to panic.

"Flood the world?" One man repeated.

"My god!" Said another.

One women grabed onto someone and yelled "I don't wanna die," Then screamed, "I DON'T WANT TO DIE!"

"Oh yes," Professor Chaos continued."Every living creature and every sacred building will soon be under leagues and leagues of cold and dark water. And there is nothing you can do to stop me! General Disarray, begin the flooding of Earth!" General Disarray disappeared out of veiw then he came back with a running hose and droped it in front of the evil blonde boy.

"You brought this upon yourselves! You made the outcasts of the world! Now watch! Watch as your precious planet drowns! Watch!" He addreses the world and points at the pool of water now forming on the ground. The crowd watches in silence.

"Jesus Christ, who will save us?" Asked a random terrified man in the crowd.

"We have very little time to live. How, how shall we spend our last hours on earth?" questions another. The crowd stops and reflects...

Suddenly, everyone's expression changes completely."Yeah! all right!" everybody starts striping and celebrates in their underwear.

All except two nine year old boys.

"Oh dear lord!" Pip exclaimed, pushing the distracted anti-christ off of him."HEY!"

When he was back on his feet he started to really panic. Waving his arms and pacing back and forth.

"Oh no what are we going to do!"

"What do you mean 'we', human? Do you really think the can flood the world with just a hose?" Damien said, getting up and dusting himself off.

Damien was completely ignored by the still panicing Pip. The brit grabed him by the shoulders.

"Im serious Damien! What are we going to do!"

He thought for a second then shuged. "Get naked?" He suggested.

Scared and frustrated, Pip scoffed and pushed Damien away.

The dark boy snickered lightly at the other. Just then Damien got an idea. He could take advantage of this.

"Hey," He said loud enough to get the others attention. "How about you come back to hell with me?"

The question came as a shock to Pip. It was to weird. Having the ANTI-CHRIST ask you to come to hell with him isn't something that happens every day. He didn't even sound very serious more like he was asking what time it was.

"Wh-what?"

"You hurd me! Come back to hell with me!" He repeated, a little angry this time.

Pip thought about it. Whats hell really like? Images poped into Pip's head of a dull grey rock floor covered with poor tortured souls laying everywhere screaming in pain as demons stabed them with pitch forks. On the walls, people's arms were chained painfully above their heads, ready to fall off. Everywhere people were being set on fire or thrown into lova pits. Pip never really had such a wild imagination but he knew hell was worse then anything any human can ever imagin.

"Uhh...I don't think so." He said straightforwardly.

"W-why?" Damien's voice sounded hurt and it came out befor he could stop it. Pip was shocked to hear the softer side of his ex-friend. Maybe he wasn't as bad as he seems, maybe he just misunderstood and needed a friend. Thats something Pip could relate with.

Then a question came to him.

"Why are you here? Are you here by your fathers bitting?"

"No. Im here to go to school."

'He's staying this time?' Pip thought, alittle worried. He thought about how if the teacher gave a pop quiz Damien will set the school on fire. If someone called him an emo on the playground he'd turn them into a beast of burden. And if Pip ever annoyed him he would kill him in an instent. It never occurred to Pip on how dangerous this boy was.

"Are you living in South park?" The blonde asked.

"No, I can teleport myself from hell to earth whenever I want." He shuged.

Pip looked at him weirdly. "Really?"

"Yeah." He replied, sounding bored. He put his hands in his pockets.

"So, what do you say?" Damien asked suddenly.

"Say to what?"

The demon sighed angrly."To coming back with me!"

"Oh... well, Im not quite sure." He replied, looking down at his feet.

"Why not?"

Pip looked back up at him with an expression like it was the most obvious thing in the world.

Damien looked back at him, puzzled."What?"

Pinching the brige of his nose, Pip tried to explain.

"Your the Anti-Christ," He started.

"Yeah."

"Your asking me, a pure, christian virgin, to come to hell with you?"

"Yeah whats the problem?"

"You don't see anything wrong with that?" Pip threw his arms in the air in frustration.

Damien paused to think for a second. "Oh, I see."

"Finally." Pip muttered uder his breath.

"You don't wanna go to hell a virgin! I can ficks that!"

Pip's eyes widened. "W-what?"

Damien pulled Pip into a close mens restroom and started to unbutton Pip's coat.

The blondes face flushed pink.

"Stop that, you wanker!" He yelled, pushing the sullen looking boy away.

Damien's face darkened alittle with a pink blush.

Furrowing his brow, Damien glared at the other boy, who was glaring back at him.

"What, is the Anti-Christ not good enough for the all mighty and pure angel?"

Pip was taken aback. 'angel?'

"What on earth are you talking about?"

"You wont let me take you! And you wont come to hell with me!"

The blonde sighed."You just don't get it."

"No, I don't get. Your life sucks here! Why do you wanna stay?"

This took the blonde aback.

Damien continued. "Your an orphan, you have no friends, and you live with your abusive sister and her husband, why the fuck would you wanna stay in this shit hole to just be everyones punching bag!"

Pip's arms were held up to his chest in a defensive matter. Then he felt his eyes and mouth start to quiver and soon after his eyes filled with tears.

Damiens expression softened."Wait, no Pip don't-"

"WAHHH!" He became hysterical.

"Y-yo-your right! My life is pointless!" He sobbed and fell to his knees.

The demon paniced."N-no, no your life isn't pointless!" He kneeling down and tried to convince the other, but failing.

"You said it yourself! Y-you said my life sucks, so m-maybe I-i should j-just end my miserable li-"

"NO!" Damien roughly yanked Pip's chin up so that now he was looking him in the eye.

"Your to good a person to die and go to hell! If you kill yourself you'll surly go to hell for all eternally!"

Pip stared at him with wide blue eyes, his crying was reduced to light sobbing. Was this really the boy who said death to the holy only a year ago?

"But...you want me to go to hell with you."

"As my playmate. Its not technically a can probably still get into heaven."

"B-but what about school?"

"I'll go to school here and bring you the classwork. We can work it out."

Pip pondered it for a while. He would have to leave everything. His sister. Who hates him. Everyone at school. Who hate him. and evrthing he owned. Witch wasn't much.

Hell why not.

"Alright, I agree!"

Damien beamed happily, it was the first time Pip saw him smile in a non-threating way. It was kinda cute, he even had little dimples.

"Awesome!"

Then, suddenly the disappeared into a burst of fire.

**to be continued...**


	2. Chapter 2

Weeks have passed by and the two have been living together happily in hell. They lived in the River Styx Condominiums where Satan and his ex Chris used to live befor they broke up and it was just the tree of them. Pip learned that Satan wasn't really such a bad guy, he's actully very thoughtful and sensitive, much unlike what the church would says about him.

Who could have geussed a place of torment and sorrow and A place where men are tormented with fire and brimstone could be so pleasant.

During his stay there, him and Damien took many trips up to earth, some back to South Park to wreak havocon the people who have shunned the two of them. Like Damien speeding up puberty for Bebe so that her breast would develop and make all the guys go crazy over her. Or making Wendy uninterested in Stan so that she would break up with him and break his heart and become emo.

And much to Damien's pleasure, making the virgin marry statue bleed out her ass. And even more amusing for him, it is discovered and all the faithful start flocking to the site hoping to be healed. Even Stan's dad is sure the bleeding Virgin can cure him of his alcoholism.

Some trips were to some of the greatest places on earth, Like New York City or the Great Wall Of China and Tokyo Japan. One trip, much to Pip's displeasure and much to Damien's amusement, was to the Eiffel Tower in paris france.

To make up for taking him to France, Damien had to take Pip to england and visit london. What Damien hated most about london was the food he was forced to eat.

But as much fun the two had together, Pip could see that Damien was getting sadder and sadder as time went by.

Finally, one hot day in hell Pip went out to find Damien and ask whats wrong.

He left the Condominium and looked around the marina of the wretched lake of fire. No Damien.

He walked threw the park of chard, naked trees and yellow grass. He searched every bench, all he could find were demons and burned skeletons sitting down on the uncomfortable wooden seats. No Damien.

He asked many Demons and Damned souls and even Satan and they all shook their heads and say they haven't seen him.

After a quick lunch Pip set out again to find his friend. Then he remembered where Damien liked to go when he was upset.

There was a very high hill that towered over evey other clif in hell. It could be easily mistaken for a small steep chif over looked the entire lake of fire, making it easy to map out the pit of torment and sorrow. It was only out sized by the volcanoes that surround it that went off almost every hour.

That is were Daimen said he like to visit when he was upset and wanted to be alone.

After Getting one demon to take him up there, Pip was happy to see that he had finally found Damien. He was sitting at the peak of the chif with his legs hanging over the edge, watching lava flow by slowly.

Pip smiled as he walked over. He has brought Damien a ripe melon to eat.

_'He must be hungry from sitting up here all morning with nothing to eat.' _Pip thought as he sat next to his friend.

Damien didn't look up, he just sat there, looking out at nothing in particular.

"Hello Damien," Pip chirped holding out the melon to Damien. "Why so MELANcholy?" He put extra enfasis on the melan in melancholy while giving Damien the fruit.

Without looking up, Damien took the fruit and threw it into the lake of fire and lava where it was reduced to nothingness in a matter of seconds.

Pip grimaced."Oh, well...alright geuss your not hungry."

Damien grunted in response.

"So whats the matter?"

The dark haired boy didn't speak. This worryed the blonde.

"Come now Damien, you can talk to me."

Finally Damien sighed, look up at the other with weary eyes.

"You know we can't be friends forever, right?" He asked, closing his eyes as if to stop tears from falling.

This took the blonde aback. " Why Damien, what ever do you mean?"

Griting his fanged teeth, Damien turned to the blonde beside him glaring and making the other shake with fear.

"God dammit Pip your just to damn innocent! You'll never go to hell when you die!"

Pip stoped shaking and smiled lightly. "But Damien you said only Mormons can go to heaven!"

Damien sighed and looked back to the lava with soulful eyes.

"No,"

"What but you said-"

"I know what I said!" He cut pip off."My dad told me that god knows that his army is too waek in number, so now he has made new rules and is letting more people in."

Pip stared at the other for a long time. Damien let him take in the new information befor continuing.

"You know the worse part of it is that you'll be fighting against me in a war you don't even want to be part of." The word came out grimly as they pained him to say that.

This made the blondes heart sink and brought tears to his bright blue eyes as he tried his best to stop himself from baling into tears.

Then, an idea hit him." I-i could be come a sinner! I'll become evil, just like you!" Pip smiled a little hopful smile and rubbed his eyes.

The dark haired boy shoke his head. "I can't ask you to do that for me."

"You don't need to ask me! I want to be with you forever!"

Damien cracked a little smile."Your just to innocent."

This angered the blonde. He stood up and stormed off yelling "You'll see! I'll be just as evil as you could be!"

And, as if on queue, the volcanoes surrounded the chif fire off another batch of smoke and every minion and damned soul tremble in fear.

Weeks went by and little Pip tried his best to be evil. But it just wasn't in his nature to be mean to anybody so, he tried doing small evil things first and work his way up.

His first attempt was at hell's grocery store that was cleverly called Hell's Grosscery. When he passed a free sample stand that had a sign that read ' Only Take One' He took two and snuck away befor anyone saw him.

His second attempt was when he remembered that in sunday school the teacher said that wathing naughty things on the TV or on the internet was a sin. So that day him and Damien sat and watched rather irotic videos that they found in his dads closet and watched it on the TV Damien had in his room.

At his thired atempt he retuned a library book a day after it was due.

Pip felt like giving up, He didn't feel evil or bad at all, he was still the same as always. But he refused to give up and kept trying.

One day Pip asked Damien to take him up to South Park because he forgot something back in his old house.

When they got there they learned a lot of what was going on in the small town. Like how South Park is being hit with a class action lawsuit by every celebritie the town has ever picked on, the leader of the celebrities is non other then Tom Cruise himself who was recently called a fudge packer by Stan Marsh.

The two boys were now at Pip old house looking for whatever Pip had forgotten.

"You know, you'd lose your own ass if it wasn't attached to you." Damien teased while Pip looked for the thing.

"Oh ha ha." Pip laughed sarcastically.

Just then, a wave of vibration, like a mini earthquake shook the house. Scaring both of the boys.

"What was tha-" Damien was cut of by another earthquake.

"Oh dear, what the bloddly hell is going on?" Pip shriked when he saw out the window.

A gigantic mechanical monster was storming the streets of South park. Destroying everything in it's path.

The two run out of the house and gaze in awe at the mechanical, fire breathing monster.

"Oh dear god." Pip spoke in awe.

"...Wow." Damien said, a little less then surprised.

The mechanical beast let out a terrorizing roar and continued on to its path of destruction.

People everywhere were running in horror from the monster.

"I know that monster! She attacked South Park befor! It's M-mecha-Streisand!" Pip yelled, pointing twards the mechanical Streisand.

"Mecha-Streisand?" Damien turned to the blonde with an eyebrow raised.

Pip looked back at him with wide eyes. "Yes, a mechanical Barbra Streisand!"

"Oh yeah my dad's friends with her."

Pip stared at Damien oddly until he hurd another roar from the monster. She has already made it to South Parks main street were town hall is.

Then a crazy thought went through Pip's head.

Suicide was a sin, so if he killed himself he would go to hell.

Befor he could thing it over, he ran. He ignored Damien calling out his name. He just ran twords the monster with out turning back.

"Cheery-oh!" He yelled loud enough to get the beast attention. Mecha-Streisand Turned her huge metal head and saw the little boy on the ground.

When she fully turned around Pip continued. Although he was terrified, he was determined to be with his friend.

"Uh...My name is Pip. I would like to see if you wouldn't mind not smashing our little town to bits?"

And after that was said, Pip's fate was sealed under Mecha-Streisand's foot.

Sadly, Damien was there to see the hole thing. And he was heart broken.

For hours that night he sobbed.

He has never felt this type of pain befor. It's like someone was holding his heart in their hand and was squeezing like it was a strees ball.

He can't really remember that last time he cried like this. Maybe when he was small and didn't get something that he wanted, but nothing could compare to the pain he was feeling now.

When he finally stoped crying, he mastered up enough energy to take him back home to hell.

~/~/~/~/~

Damien didn't know why he was there, He knew Pip wouldn't be there.

He was at the waiting area were all the new comers arrive. Many souls were there, wondering where they are, and why.

Damien sat on the stage next to the podium. Then the Hell Director came up on stage and up to the podium.

" Hello, newcomers, and welcome. Can everybody hear me?"He says and taps the mic a few times." Hello? Can everybuh-? Okay." He continued once the crowd quiets down "Uh, I'm the hell director. Uh, it looks like we have about 8,615 of you newbies today, and for those of you who are a little confused, uh, you are dead, and this is hell, so, abandon all hope and uh yada yada yada. Uh, we are now going to start the orientation process, which will last about-"

The Hell Director was interrupted by someone yelling about how they weren't supost to be here. And the director responds by saying they were wrong.

Then came the most over asked questuion of all. "Well then who was right, who gets into heaven?" Asked a random person in th crowd.

The Director informes them that the Mormons were right and only they got into heaven.

A wave of disappointment washed over the crowd.

"Oh, but we do have a special surprise today." The director says cheefully.

The crowd perked up a bit, hoping that they will be spared.

"We have Damien, the antichrist to join us today to welcome you to hell."

Anouther wave of disappointment washed over the crowd.

Damien grunted, not in the mood for the director's cheerful banter today.

"Damien!" A familiar voice called in the crowd.

Damien's head shot up, red eye's wide.

He smiles unbelievably when he sees a small blonde boy making his way through the crowd. " 'Scuse me. Pardon me ms. Excuse me."

"Pip!" The dark haired boy exclaimes.

Pip looks up and smiles warmly at the other boy.

The two were now facing each other, one smiling and the other staring in awe.

"How did you- why are you..." He stammered.

"Uh, your name is Philip Pirrip? You commited suicide, right?" Asked the hell director as he fliped through his clip bored.

Damien looked at the director then back at Pip. "You did what!"

Pip backed away."Uh, well it was so that me and you could-"

Damien jumped off the stage and stormed up to Pip. The blond flinched but he lossed up when he felt the dark boys arms around him.

When he hugged back the crowd around them joined together in one big 'awww'.

~/~/~/~/~

Year's latter the to have grown to be a little more then friends. Soon the two became lovers and decided to get married.

Late into their marriage they had two kids. One boy named after Damien and one girl named Lucy.

Damien became ruler over hell when his father retired from his thrown.

And thats the story of how two boys completely opposite from each other, one being an overly innocent brit and the other being not only evil but the antichrist at that, ended up togrther happily in hell.


End file.
